How do I convince my BF to stay in Thailand with me?

Question

I have been living in America for years. I am moving back to Thailand for good. I have dated an American men for over 4 years. He is a US military officer and 2nd-years law student. Of course, he cannot move to Thailand with me right now.

He claimed he would love to meet my parents. We have never talked about future. Currently, I just want to focus on my career in Thailand. I love him and want him to move to Thailand with me. However, I am scared I would ruin his career. His family is an oldie lawyer family. They have their own law firm in the US.

Will he get any decent jobs in Thailand being eitheir: US military office or Lawyer or American Football Coach?

By the way, he is a model neo-con --Ultraconservative and belief in American superpower bullshit Oop :)

Answer 1

Something in your story makes no sense at all? Military officers for the most part are not rich at all and hardly even middle class in America.



Because families may have money, they simply due not give it ALL to their children in America before they die. Therefore on his own merits as a military officer, he is probably not very well off or he would have been a lawyer first and never joined the military.



Traditional wealthy families in America DO NOT let their kids join the military and the percentage of poor people in the military is probably 95% in the USA



So will he get a job in Thailand as a military officer? The answer is no. Does he have any special skills that the Thai's do not have? The answer is no. Can he speak Thai? Probably not.



What good would a lawyer be in Thailand that cannot speak Thai or read Thai or is even remotely familiar with Thai Law? The answer is no good.



Been together for four years and never talked about the future? Very strange relationship there. Most people I know were married long before a 4 year relationship.



Military officers have a committment of a certain number of years to the military before they can leave and do what they want.



But even after leaving, he is just like every other ex-military person, which means competing for jobs in Thailand on skills, education and merit alone.



If he is so rich, why not have him take a holiday to Thailand with you in August and have him set you up in your own business? Maybe a McDonalds? or something else financially fail proof that you can support your family until he is ready to move to Thailand with you?



If the guy won't put the money where the mouth is, I think you have to come to grips with the facts of what your relationship is really all about.



Fours years together and you want to go home or HAVE to go home because your education VISA is up, and he cannot go with you no matter what because of his military committments.



But there is no marriage proposal or anything remotely close to keeping you two together? No talk about a future together.



If he was in love with you, he would never let you go because he already knows it will be the end.



Sorry to say, but even though you are living in America, you are the very same as allot of Thai girls here in Thailand. They cling to one guy forever, even though there is no future, no hope, no marriage on the horizon as if the that guy was the last guy alive.



You are in for a shock in life if you think men want to take care of women in Thailand. Come to Thailand and see how many working professional Thai women there are contributing financially to taking care of their families with their husbands.



Now ask yourself after 4 years how much has your BF contributed to taking care of your family? The answer is probably zero and that says it all right there.



Sorry for you, but one of life's little lessons everyone learns along the way. When it's real, when it's true love, there is marriage, children and a happy ending. After four years if you do not have that, a question has to be asked what did you have?



Platonic? Convenient?



Sad facts but all true. When you walk down the path of life, you need to keep your eyes open to the facts. People talk and talk and talk. I would guess every farang in Thailand must be super rich too because that is what they are telling all the bar girls.



Social Intelligence, being aware of facts versus stories that we want to believe our true, but facts dictate they are never true.



Thailand is not easy for the millions of people trying to support families on meager incomes. There is lots of despair and a lack of hope.



Prepare yourself that this is the way of life in Thailand and either embrace it whole heartedly or do your best to stay in America.



Many, many people in Thailand with Masters degrees and years of experience do not even earn the equivalent of minimum wage per month in the USA.



That is a fact of life that we all deal with.



This is our system here in Thailand, this is where our society is at. You have to be able to embrace what is true and right in front of your eyes.



Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Hope,



The problem he will have is the visa situation in Thailand, he will not be able to live there long term, unless he can find a job, or is in the position of not having to work (has lots of money), then he would need to start visa running..



As regards the carreers you have mentioned he will find it very hard to work in Thailand on those careers....Could he not get a transfer to SEA from the military ??



The final option woud be to set up some sort of business in Thailand, and then could get a work permit that way...

Answer 3

The way you describe this guy I can tell you one thing for sure: He will enjoy Thailand for a little while, but he will ultimatley want to move back to America. No one is going to give up a promising career in law just to live in Thailand.



By the way, in case you should ever get married to him, have you ever discussed "sin sot" with him?? I'd love to see his reaction to that.....

Answer 4

convince bf stay thailand

Answer 5

The fact you said he is a neo-con with all those moronic views is enough for you to leave him. I can tell you now he will never leave hi beloved America for Thailand, so you can forget that. I take it he is a military-reserve officer, since you said he is a student. Also, since his family has a law firm he will take over and rake in the millions, why would he give all that up to move to thailand? With all the money he will have in the future, he will be able to get any girl he wants.



He wouldn't be able to be a lawyer in Thailand unless he spoke the language and was allowed to, which is unlikely. Better he stay and help his fellow neo-cons steal more of our rights.



Funny thing, he loves america so much, but not the girls. I myself prefer asian girls too, mainly because I find american girls fat, arrogant, selfish and have a sense of entitlement.

Answer 6

The fact that you move here should be enough for him to come here. Play a little. I've had many Thai girl friends who just moved to Thailand and the Farang follow. They get odd job like being stock analyst, oil drilling/exploration company like Unical, Uniliver, etc...BTW earn loads of money more than they would have in the US or Europe (one of them was from Switzerland, he died though). Oh, another one was from France marrying to one of my friends and open a company being buying Agent for Sinair (hope my spelling correct: top four importer from France), and now he also died of leukaemia and leaving my friend with two apartment one in Paris, the other in Geneva, with a huge house in Sukhumvit and another one in Phoenix golf course with a large piece of land that my friend went to Chiang Rai and bought the whole village houses made from teak woods and moved them all there.

Not telling you that Farang can make lots of money in Thailand and not all of them died (of natural courses) and leave a fortune for their Thai wives. Many of them still live here and love it, because they have driver, maid, security guards, and can go pub crawl singing Karaoke all night and came home and puke on the porch waking up there with the dog in the morning!

They love it here!

If he doesn't come, call me! :-)

Answer 7

the fact that he is so pro-american could mean that he will have a tough time in thailand. he might not be as open and forgiving of the different ways things happen )and don't happen) in thailand... the farangs that survive all the obstacles of a white man living here are often a wee bit anti-american and open minded to a different way of life. unless he really wants to be here, he'd never survive. it sounds like its going to come down to his love for you or his love of his carreer and country....

Answer 8

When you say your bf is a military officer are you saying he is active duty or reserve? If active duty he has very little chance here, very small military presents here now. I think he needs to come here and spend a few weeks, maybe check with some of the law firms that service farangs here and check on job opportunities. He is going to lower his standard of living here and he needs to decide. Hope don't try to force him either, he must decide on his own if this is the life he wants.

Answer 9

"By the way, he is a model neo-con --Ultraconservative and belief in American superpower bullshit...."



*



He is better off without you! Both of you are too far apart "politically!"



You're young, you will survive, after all millions of Thai women do that every day!



He would be very stupid to give up his career and course of study to move to Thailand at this time in his life!

Answer 10

Are you Irish? Because your really starting to dish the malarkey.



Yes your boyfriend should quit his job in the Army and move to Thailand. There are lots of high paying American Football Coach jobs in Thailand please contact me with his army.mil address and I will sent him a list. Ops :)